when harry met sally

Harry (H): You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally (S): Why not?
H: What I’m saying is – and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form – is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
S: That’s not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
H: No you don’t.
S: Yes I do.
H: No you don’t.
S: Yes I do.
H: You only think you do.
S: You say I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?
H: No, what I’m saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
S: They do not!
H: Do too.
S: They do not.
H: Do too.
S: How do you know?
H: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
S: So, you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
H: No. You pretty much want to nail ’em too.
S: What if THEY don’t want to have sex with YOU?
H: Doesn’t matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
S: Well, I guess we’re not going to be friends then.
H: I guess not.
S: That’s too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

The above conversation was just crossing my mind when I had a chat with a friend about platonic love*/ (so I browsed around the web to find the full conversation between harry and sally as I copied above). Plato is the advocate of this pure form of love between individuals. Some other reference says that it’s a kind of spiritual love.

I once wrote about the love of ordinary people that can’t be like the love of the philosophers. And Plato is a great philosopher. Platonic love is a high level love –love without conditions, without expectations, without judgement. Most people –ordinary people– can’t do that.

We may see platonic love between people of the same sex –between females or between males. But what about the one between male and female? Some friends of mine insists that ‘platonic love’ they have exist. And although they do not want to admit it, we know that it does not. At all.

So now I guess it’s really up to people. As Harry said (in other words), ‘there’s no such friendship between man and woman’. Either they’re not friends, or they’re lovers. Yes?

*/Platonic Love: Spiritual love between persons of opposite sexes. It is the friendship of man and woman, without mixture of what is usually called love. Plato strongly advocated this pure affection, and hence its distinctive name.

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