dans le carrefour (encore)

Ini cerita si Arini. Sekali lagi, Arini nemuin persimpangan. Mau terus? Atau mengkol ke kanan? Atau ke kiri? They say you have to do whatever you do with passion. Lha terus gimana dong kalo si passion itu sedikit demi sedikit tergerus, menyublim, hilang, lenyap. Teman si Arini bilang, in the walk of life, it’s not gonna be like a walk in the park. Banyak orang bijak juga bilang, “Don’t sweat small things” –kalimat yang btw sering banget dia ucapin ke orang-orang lain. Memang, selalu aja easier to say than done.

Ceritanya Arini mutusin untuk naik kereta yang lewat, yang mbuka pintu keretanya lebar-lebar buat dia. Setelah beberapa waktu kemudian dia mutusin untuk turun di stasiun berikutnya. Dan dia bilang sama si masinis. Terus si masinis tanya,”Why? Don’t you enjoy the ride?”.  Seperti biasa, Arini cuma bisa nyengir dan nggak berani (tepatnya, nggak tega) bilang alasan yang sesungguhnya –bahwa dia nggak suka makanannya (bikin eneg), dia nggak suka jalurnya (terlalu banyak terowongan gelap), dia nggak suka pramugarinya (suka senyum di depan, tapi menikam di belakang), dia nggak suka masinisnya (banyak bangggetttt). Yah, gitu-gitu deh…small things, tapi nyebelin. Arini akhirnya cuma bilang bahwa di stasiun berikutnya ada pacar yang sudah menunggunya. Dia mau kawin. Hahahhahaa 😀

Well, Arini bukannya nggak berusaha. Trying to see the bigger picture. Misalnya coba ngeliat tujuan akhir perjalanan kereta yang dia naiki –yang juga jadi tujuan dia sejak lama.  Temen-temennya bilang, udah lah…nikmatin aja, enjoy the ride. Tapi temen-temennya juga bilang bahwa ada kereta lain yang juga punya tujuan yang sama — yang walopun makanannya kadang bikin eneg, tapi dia udah tau lah ingredientsnya, yang pramugara/i-nya jutek abis (tapi at least dia nggak harus pura-pura), yang walopun agak rombeng, tapi at least dia tau mesinnya, yah gitu-gitu deh.

Seorang teman dekat Arini juga bilang, dia udah kehilangan keceriaan. Dia jadi makhluk serius yang menyebalkan.  Arini capek berat mikirinnya. Dia jadi kena psikosomatis. Sering di kereta itu dia cuma duduk melamun, mandangin entah apa di luar sana. Kasian juga tuh si Arini. Ada yangbisa nolongin?

biarkan kereta itu lewat, arini

Recognize that sentence? It’s a title of a movie back in the 1980s(??). Still remember it? And below are thoughts from friends that could reflect anybody’s situation:

[Andreas, from his desk at Harvard’s Lamont Library]

Why should Arini let the train pass?
What if it is the last train?
What if it is the best train?
Worse, what if not only it is not the last train, but it is also a very very bad train?
How should Arini decide to let it go or to hold on to it?

And

Does Arini need to leave the station if she lets the train pass?
Does she need to go back to the line for the next train?
Or she can just use the current ticket for the next train?

And

Can somebody tell Arini the exact schedule of the next train?
And whether they provide meals and drinks in that train?
And whether it is an express train or a regular one?

Should Arini trust the person who advises her to let the train pass?
What if the person is herself?
What if it comes from her own fear and insecurity?
Can she live with the regrets and consequences?

[VQ, from wherever he wrote this]

One thing’s for sure: If she doesn’t get on any train, it will take her nowhere.
Just get on the train, Arini, Leave all the details to God.

[me, from nowhere –virtually]

Eas, indeed, life is nothing but making choices, isn’t it?
Vick, what a wise remarks 😀 Anyway, arini can always get off the train at the next station if she doesn’t like the ride, right?